[don't look at me and don't speak to me i'm on my way out the door already
Good question though! Wow. Can't believe they went through all this effort to sneak out here only for Lan Wangji to immediately murder him in cold blood. He really is distracted though, which gives the perfect window of opportunity for Lan Wangji to sneak up and--
Apparently just fucking snaps his spine in two or something, given the loud yelp that flies from Wei Wuxian's stupid mouth when Lan Wangji's palm presses between his wings. It's one of surprise, but more obviously one of pain. His wings, previously folded, twitch reflexively which JUST HURTS MORE!! He twists against the arm on his hip less like someone who's startled and trying to Flee and more like someone who just got punched curling up on themselves a little.
In all worlds he's the kind of one braincelled idiot who doesn't like people knowing when he's having trouble of any kind though, so he immediately slaps a hand over his mouth before turning his head to look.]
[WELL. THAT WAS NOT THE SOFT SCHMOOPY HUG HE WAS EXPECTING.
Immediately, Lan Wangji pulls his hands back, eyes widening slightly in alarm. He hadn't thought he'd put that much strength into it? Is it really that bad?? Wei Wuxian's not that delicate... right????
Drawing his hands back to himself, he looks at Wei Wuxian over the top of his wings, studying his face.]
[Wow he has glass bones and paper skin, please treat him like the delicate national treasure he is THANK YOU.
That said, he'll turn around so he can face Lan Wangji properly, reaching out for his hands. His DEMON HANDS with their DEMON STRENGTH that just shattered all the bones in his body.]
No, no - you just startled me! [He lies lyingly because he doesn't want Lan Wangji to feel bad...] Haha, it's been a while since you've managed to sneak up on me like that. Have you managed to make your steps even quieter than they already were? What a feat!
[It's never too early for him to fuss over Wei Wuxian!! Especially because it's never too early for Wei Wuxian to have gotten himself into trouble... or for Lan Wangji to have broken his bones with his stupid turbo hands I guess?? WHATEVER.
Because of those turbo hands, though, he's reluctant to touch like he normally would. Especially if he's already hurt Wei Wuxian, he's not about to make it worse!! So instead, he reaches forward to rest his hands on Wei Wuxian's hips, and instead presses a kiss to his wing, right where it emerges from his back. THE PERFECT TEST.
The kiss itself doesn't hurt, at least, since it's such a terribly light gesture - it just feels uncomfortable in the same way it does when you gently press a bruise or stretch a stiff muscle a bit too far. The main difference is that his wings only shift a little, instead of fluttering or puffing out as they normally would when he's lucky enough to be spoiled with Lan Wangji's affections.]
How is it, Lan Zhan?
[He is admittedly a little curious to see if anything's changed back there since he had Okuni take a look earlier...]
In any other scenario, Lan Wangji would probably say something like "needs more testing" and then they'd get distracted. But Wei Wuxian's pain is one of the few things he can't be deterred from investigating, so he leans back, sharp eyes studying the way Wei Wuxian's feathers are resting.]
No visible wounds.
[Maybe if he's careful...
He lifts his hand back up, resting a finger on the same spot. If he can, he'll move it over as if to trace the top of Wei Wuxian's wing, trying his best to be careful. ALAS.]
[can't believe wei wuxian being injured by a curse is the only thing saving them from banging WHY IS IT ALWAYS BANGING
ANYWAY HURTY... SORE. HE HATES THIS, not because it actually hurts hurts, but because he absolutely hates the fact that he can't enjoy Lan Wangji's touch like this!! He shifts a little where he stands, his wing flittering sadly under the finger that traces over it like he wants to flap it more but he's Too Nervous To Try.]
Still nothing visible, right? It's fine, Lan Zhan! There's no way it was you - I'm not that delicate!
[IT'S WANGXIAN AND YOUKAI WORLD IT'S A BAD COMBINATION OF HORNY AND HORNY
But look, Wei Wuxian's not making super pained noises, so that's a relief. Even though something's obviously off, maybe it's not that bad. He's still frowning slightly, though; maybe Wei Wuxian sprained something and didn't notice? It seems unlikely that he wouldn't mention it if he's permitting this much of an inspection, though.]
How long has it been like this?
[He takes his other hand away from Wei Wuxian's waist so that he can put both of them on one of his wings--one resting on the top, the other directly on the feathers, trying to coax it open so he can massage it or something. Eventually he'll remember what he wanted to talk about, but for now this is his main focus.]
[the fact that we've had 3 threads already and 1 had banging and 1 had almost banging and 1 is just (gestures at this) i hATE
Guess they're both just going to be distracted by getting handsy YET AGAIN at least it's not in public, smallest of blessings. Wei Wuxian winces a little as Lan Wangji tries to move the wing, mostly because he can face forward again so he doesn't have to SEE HIM MAKE THAT FACE. It moves reluctantly even with how gentle he's being, but for Lan Wangji, this gross sap will try to flex it and keep it stretched.]
Mm, not that long. I flew a lot yesterday and carried some heavy loads, so I think I might have just overtaxed myself a little...
[LMFKSJHGJKSHG STOP DON'T POINT IT OUT I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT
And listen this is innocent handsy-ness okay!!! He's gonna pull his hands away as soon he's sure there's no obvious wounds, though he's still not happy. At least this doesn't really register on his radar of "wow what a badly timed coincidence" since it's absolutely possible that Wei Wuxian pushed himself too hard... maybe in a few weeks he'll look back on this and stare into the camera.
BUT FOR NOW he just lets his hands drop, pressing down the urge to smooth his fingers through Wei Wuxian's feathers like he normally might. Instead, he steps back around, holding his hand out for Wei Wuxian to take so that he can pull him over to the tree he'd been lurking behind earlier.]
Rest today.
[Guess who's taking a break now, that's right, it's Wei Wuxian!! Lan Wangji's not going to take no for an answer, but he probably won't have to, because he has BRIBES.]
[Yeah it'd be a much sketchier situation right off the bat if he mentioned flying causes him extreme pain but LOOK. Sometimes even in the middle of a meteor crisis, you don't like bothering people dear to you! Lan Wangji is already fussing and fretting and he doesn't even know the half of how bad it is!!
He carefully folds his wings back up once Lan Wangji lets go, grateful for the level of ache to drop. He even gives his hands a grateful and affectionate little squeeze, silently glad for the good he's tried to do, and lets himself be led off to god knows where.
BUT WAIT A SECOND--]
I can't rest today! Lan Zhan - I'll stay on the ground if that's what you mean, but there's far too much work to be done for me to spend the entire day resting.
Not all day. [HE'LL CONCEDE THAT unless Wei Wuxian wants to, which he may or may not try to coax him into doing with Love and Affection and also Booze.
Speaking of--as they approach the tree, Wei Wuxian will probably notice two cloth-wrapped objects, though the small cup beside them probably makes it obvious what they are. It's the wines he purchased from Beau!! He doesn't let Wei Wuxian zoom over to them, though, holding onto his hand and tugging him down to sit. LET HIM SPOIL or else he'll just keep fussing and then they'll never get anywhere.
Though, Lan Wangji hasn't totally lost control of the brain cell, because he adds--]
[GOOD THING HE DID HOLD ONTO THIS STUPID MAN'S HAND because he absolutely perked up and started nyooming over the second he realized what those objects were-- HIS DRINKS!!
But he'll blink over at Lan Wangji as he's tugged down to have a seat instead, and lets himself be tugged. He doesn't like being fussed over when he's in serious pain or having real trouble, so having something else to talk about is a welcome distraction...
Disgostingly, he tries immediately to curl up against his side, keeping his wings carefully folded so they don't get bumped or jostled.]
With what? I'll give you whatever help I can - just say the word. Need something delivered? Or someone? Want to take a trip down the river?
[HIS DRINKS!! But god they're truly disgostin--Lan Wangji's more than happy to wrap one arm loosely around him. He'll do his best not to be GRABBY like usual, since he's still partly convinced that some of that pain is his fault.
But Wei Wuxian's rambling makes him smile, very softly. The enthusiasm is appreciated, but mostly, he's just--so fond. So gay. STUPID.
Unfortunately, it's also distracting!! Which means he's not quite paying attention as he reaches for the cup with his free hand, and speaks.]
I need to find--
[CRACK!
--Welp, so much for the cup!! There it goes, shattering in his grip...]
[WELL, CONSIDERING THAT'S THE KIND OF STRENGTH HE HAS, it's no surprise he thinks he hurt Wei Wuxian accidentally... He starts a little, mildly surprised, and immediately shifts to CHIDING.]
Lan Zhan ah, look at you! How worried am I going to have to be now? Let me see--
[His hand!! He reaches for it so he can brush away shards of the cup and check to make sure there are no cuts.
Also so he can kiss Lan Wangji's palm. God, kill one of them.]
[Yeah!! Yeah!!! Lan Wangji, for his part, just kind of sighs. HE'S TIRED. Obviously he's been dealing with this for a little bit, since he's apparently not surprised.]
It's fine. I'm sorry.
[There is probably the tiniest of cuts on his palm, barely bleeding--hardly anything worth mentioning for creatures as sturdy as they are. Still, the kiss makes him smile, and he lets Wei Wuxian inspect as he will. THEIR CUP, THOUGH. He didn't bring a spare since this isn't for himself... now Wei Wuxian has to gulp his wine like a gremlin.]
And now Wei Wuxian's going to think that maybe his weird predicament is related to the weird things happening to people across the board today GOD.]
Don't apologize. [Another kiss for his palm!] Just take care! Be more careful! Look at this - you've cut yourself. [A THIRD.] Does it feel any better now?
[I guess the misunderstandings have to happen somehow...
But first there's just going to be this fucking. Awful cursed content. Because Lan Wangji's going to stare at him for a minute, and then shift his hand to thread their fingers together, leaning down for a proper kiss. And then shifting to scoot Wei Wuxian into his lap.]
[STOP WITH THE HANKY PANKY. I HATE THIS. THREE THREADS AND WE'RE CURSED IN ALL OF THEM im telling dana that wwx has to die immediately i hate this i will take it upon myself to set us free
Anyway, he'll just SETTLE IN I GUESS WOW BUT STOP, STOP-- His one braincell activates and reminds him that Lan Wangji was talking about ????? something before all of this stupidity happened, so he leans away. Just a bit, though. Not enough to actually make a difference. Kill them.]
Surely this can't be what you needed help with. This is no way to rest up either, you know?
[The problem here is Lan Wangji's--I mean for one thing he's Lan Wangji, but also he's currently thinking that if Wei Wuxian is. "Relaxed". It'll be easier to convince him to rest afterwards. AND ALSO HE HAS NO SELF-CONTROL so there go his hands, terrible, bad, awful, kill them]
It is not urgent. [Yeah, if Wei Wuxian's not actually moving away then he's not deterred.] Don't worry.
[(pixi voice from like an hour ago) yeah they won't bang outside don't worry it's fine!! /clown music playing in the background]
WEI WUXIAN'S NOT GOING TO STOP HIM SO HERE WE ARE!!!!!!! i can't believe we have to fucking ftb in 2 out of 3 of our threads already and now ftb timeskip so we can actually get to plot wow i really am telling dana to kill them immediately bye]
ANYWAYS at some point they're going to be situated so that Wei Wuxian can lay on his side with his head on Lan Wangji's leg, Lan Wangji's fingers combing through his hair as gently as possible. Honestly it's for the best that they learned about Lan Wangji's super-super-strength before this happened because otherwise there would be broken bones, and that would've been a VERY embarrassing trip to a doctor, and it would have to be Ray because Shinobu is too smart.
ANYWAYS.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, after Lan Wangji's let Wei Wuxian get into the wine (he's not touching it okay he spent money on that), they're back on track--]
Wei Ying. I need to find the Maou.
[His voice is normally fairly serious, but there's an added weight to this.]
THIS IS TERRIBLE THOUGH. He's really being spoiled all the time and he really does not deserve any of it, wow. He's curled up comfortably with his bottle in one hand and his wings still neatly and carefully folded, letting his fingers trace nonsense shapes across the parts of Lan Wangji's abdomen and thigh that he can reach. Also kissing. i wish they were not like this
NOW THEY'RE TALKING PLOT AND ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS NAP or maybe bang again which absolutely cannot happen.]
--For any particular reason that's more or less pressing than anyone else?
[Since they'd all woken up from that dream with the vague urge to do so, but with how Lan Wangji's talking, he assumes there's something more pressing. Then, curiously:]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
YEAH AND I HATE IT
Good question though! Wow. Can't believe they went through all this effort to sneak out here only for Lan Wangji to immediately murder him in cold blood. He really is distracted though, which gives the perfect window of opportunity for Lan Wangji to sneak up and--
Apparently just fucking snaps his spine in two or something, given the loud yelp that flies from Wei Wuxian's stupid mouth when Lan Wangji's palm presses between his wings. It's one of surprise, but more obviously one of pain. His wings, previously folded, twitch reflexively which JUST HURTS MORE!! He twists against the arm on his hip less like someone who's startled and trying to Flee and more like someone who just got punched curling up on themselves a little.
In all worlds he's the kind of one braincelled idiot who doesn't like people knowing when he's having trouble of any kind though, so he immediately slaps a hand over his mouth before turning his head to look.]
L-Lan Zhan—!?
why have we done this to ourselves
[WELL. THAT WAS NOT THE SOFT SCHMOOPY HUG HE WAS EXPECTING.
Immediately, Lan Wangji pulls his hands back, eyes widening slightly in alarm. He hadn't thought he'd put that much strength into it? Is it really that bad?? Wei Wuxian's not that delicate... right????
Drawing his hands back to himself, he looks at Wei Wuxian over the top of his wings, studying his face.]
Did I hurt you?
YOU THOUGHT OF IT
That said, he'll turn around so he can face Lan Wangji properly, reaching out for his hands. His DEMON HANDS with their DEMON STRENGTH that just shattered all the bones in his body.]
No, no - you just startled me! [He lies lyingly because he doesn't want Lan Wangji to feel bad...] Haha, it's been a while since you've managed to sneak up on me like that. Have you managed to make your steps even quieter than they already were? What a feat!
you can't prove a thing
He lets Wei Wuxian hold his hands, but he doesn't squeeze them as he normally would, his gaze moving back over to his wings.]
Let me see.
i hate this and also that icon
It's fine, Lan Zhan! Don't fret so much, it's too early in the day for you to fuss.
[Even if it's actually noon ANY TIME WHILE THE SUN IS UP IS TOO EARLY...
But he knows Lan Zhan will just keep pestering him until he gets a look, so Wei Wuxian will turn around and just pray he doesn't touch too much.]
See?
[They do look fine! He's holding them a bit different than usual, since they're so tender, but there's nothing amiss.]
not as much as I hate this tag
Because of those turbo hands, though, he's reluctant to touch like he normally would. Especially if he's already hurt Wei Wuxian, he's not about to make it worse!! So instead, he reaches forward to rest his hands on Wei Wuxian's hips, and instead presses a kiss to his wing, right where it emerges from his back. THE PERFECT TEST.
kill me]
boy i also hate it thanks
The kiss itself doesn't hurt, at least, since it's such a terribly light gesture - it just feels uncomfortable in the same way it does when you gently press a bruise or stretch a stiff muscle a bit too far. The main difference is that his wings only shift a little, instead of fluttering or puffing out as they normally would when he's lucky enough to be spoiled with Lan Wangji's affections.]
How is it, Lan Zhan?
[He is admittedly a little curious to see if anything's changed back there since he had Okuni take a look earlier...]
you're welcome
In any other scenario, Lan Wangji would probably say something like "needs more testing" and then they'd get distracted. But Wei Wuxian's pain is one of the few things he can't be deterred from investigating, so he leans back, sharp eyes studying the way Wei Wuxian's feathers are resting.]
No visible wounds.
[Maybe if he's careful...
He lifts his hand back up, resting a finger on the same spot. If he can, he'll move it over as if to trace the top of Wei Wuxian's wing, trying his best to be careful. ALAS.]
slaps ur knees into shrimp
ANYWAY HURTY... SORE. HE HATES THIS, not because it actually hurts hurts, but because he absolutely hates the fact that he can't enjoy Lan Wangji's touch like this!! He shifts a little where he stands, his wing flittering sadly under the finger that traces over it like he wants to flap it more but he's Too Nervous To Try.]
Still nothing visible, right? It's fine, Lan Zhan! There's no way it was you - I'm not that delicate!
[Once again, their shared braincell...]
STOP I'M NOT YOU
But look, Wei Wuxian's not making super pained noises, so that's a relief. Even though something's obviously off, maybe it's not that bad. He's still frowning slightly, though; maybe Wei Wuxian sprained something and didn't notice? It seems unlikely that he wouldn't mention it if he's permitting this much of an inspection, though.]
How long has it been like this?
[He takes his other hand away from Wei Wuxian's waist so that he can put both of them on one of his wings--one resting on the top, the other directly on the feathers, trying to coax it open so he can massage it or something. Eventually he'll remember what he wanted to talk about, but for now this is his main focus.]
NOW YOU ARE
Guess they're both just going to be distracted by getting handsy YET AGAIN at least it's not in public, smallest of blessings. Wei Wuxian winces a little as Lan Wangji tries to move the wing, mostly because he can face forward again so he doesn't have to SEE HIM MAKE THAT FACE. It moves reluctantly even with how gentle he's being, but for Lan Wangji, this gross sap will try to flex it and keep it stretched.]
Mm, not that long. I flew a lot yesterday and carried some heavy loads, so I think I might have just overtaxed myself a little...
no subject
And listen this is innocent handsy-ness okay!!! He's gonna pull his hands away as soon he's sure there's no obvious wounds, though he's still not happy. At least this doesn't really register on his radar of "wow what a badly timed coincidence" since it's absolutely possible that Wei Wuxian pushed himself too hard... maybe in a few weeks he'll look back on this and stare into the camera.
BUT FOR NOW he just lets his hands drop, pressing down the urge to smooth his fingers through Wei Wuxian's feathers like he normally might. Instead, he steps back around, holding his hand out for Wei Wuxian to take so that he can pull him over to the tree he'd been lurking behind earlier.]
Rest today.
[Guess who's taking a break now, that's right, it's Wei Wuxian!! Lan Wangji's not going to take no for an answer, but he probably won't have to, because he has BRIBES.]
no subject
He carefully folds his wings back up once Lan Wangji lets go, grateful for the level of ache to drop. He even gives his hands a grateful and affectionate little squeeze, silently glad for the good he's tried to do, and lets himself be led off to god knows where.
BUT WAIT A SECOND--]
I can't rest today! Lan Zhan - I'll stay on the ground if that's what you mean, but there's far too much work to be done for me to spend the entire day resting.
[EVEN WITH BRIBES. Probably.]
no subject
Speaking of--as they approach the tree, Wei Wuxian will probably notice two cloth-wrapped objects, though the small cup beside them probably makes it obvious what they are. It's the wines he purchased from Beau!! He doesn't let Wei Wuxian zoom over to them, though, holding onto his hand and tugging him down to sit. LET HIM SPOIL or else he'll just keep fussing and then they'll never get anywhere.
Though, Lan Wangji hasn't totally lost control of the brain cell, because he adds--]
I need your help.
no subject
But he'll blink over at Lan Wangji as he's tugged down to have a seat instead, and lets himself be tugged. He doesn't like being fussed over when he's in serious pain or having real trouble, so having something else to talk about is a welcome distraction...
Disgostingly, he tries immediately to curl up against his side, keeping his wings carefully folded so they don't get bumped or jostled.]
With what? I'll give you whatever help I can - just say the word. Need something delivered? Or someone? Want to take a trip down the river?
[MAYBE LET HIM TALK.]
no subject
But Wei Wuxian's rambling makes him smile, very softly. The enthusiasm is appreciated, but mostly, he's just--so fond. So gay. STUPID.
Unfortunately, it's also distracting!! Which means he's not quite paying attention as he reaches for the cup with his free hand, and speaks.]
I need to find--
[CRACK!
--Welp, so much for the cup!! There it goes, shattering in his grip...]
no subject
Lan Zhan ah, look at you! How worried am I going to have to be now? Let me see--
[His hand!! He reaches for it so he can brush away shards of the cup and check to make sure there are no cuts.
Also so he can kiss Lan Wangji's palm. God, kill one of them.]
no subject
It's fine. I'm sorry.
[There is probably the tiniest of cuts on his palm, barely bleeding--hardly anything worth mentioning for creatures as sturdy as they are. Still, the kiss makes him smile, and he lets Wei Wuxian inspect as he will. THEIR CUP, THOUGH. He didn't bring a spare since this isn't for himself... now Wei Wuxian has to gulp his wine like a gremlin.]
It has been this way since this morning.
no subject
And now Wei Wuxian's going to think that maybe his weird predicament is related to the weird things happening to people across the board today GOD.]
Don't apologize. [Another kiss for his palm!] Just take care! Be more careful! Look at this - you've cut yourself. [A THIRD.] Does it feel any better now?
closes my goddamn eyes
But first there's just going to be this fucking. Awful cursed content. Because Lan Wangji's going to stare at him for a minute, and then shift his hand to thread their fingers together, leaning down for a proper kiss. And then shifting to scoot Wei Wuxian into his lap.]
No.
[Welp
Days since last hanky panky: 0]
pokes ur cursed damn eyes
Anyway, he'll just SETTLE IN I GUESS WOW BUT STOP, STOP-- His one braincell activates and reminds him that Lan Wangji was talking about ????? something before all of this stupidity happened, so he leans away. Just a bit, though. Not enough to actually make a difference. Kill them.]
Surely this can't be what you needed help with. This is no way to rest up either, you know?
[HE'S NOT WRONG.
HE'S ALSO NOT MOVING.]
STOP IT'S NOT MY FAULT
It is not urgent. [Yeah, if Wei Wuxian's not actually moving away then he's not deterred.] Don't worry.
[(pixi voice from like an hour ago) yeah they won't bang outside don't worry it's fine!! /clown music playing in the background]
no subject
I MEAN
WEI WUXIAN'S NOT GOING TO STOP HIM SO HERE WE ARE!!!!!!! i can't believe we have to fucking ftb in 2 out of 3 of our threads already and now ftb timeskip so we can actually get to plot wow i really am telling dana to kill them immediately bye]
no subject
ANYWAYS at some point they're going to be situated so that Wei Wuxian can lay on his side with his head on Lan Wangji's leg, Lan Wangji's fingers combing through his hair as gently as possible. Honestly it's for the best that they learned about Lan Wangji's super-super-strength before this happened because otherwise there would be broken bones, and that would've been a VERY embarrassing trip to a doctor, and it would have to be Ray because Shinobu is too smart.
ANYWAYS.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, after Lan Wangji's let Wei Wuxian get into the wine (he's not touching it okay he spent money on that), they're back on track--]
Wei Ying. I need to find the Maou.
[His voice is normally fairly serious, but there's an added weight to this.]
no subject
THIS IS TERRIBLE THOUGH. He's really being spoiled all the time and he really does not deserve any of it, wow. He's curled up comfortably with his bottle in one hand and his wings still neatly and carefully folded, letting his fingers trace nonsense shapes across the parts of Lan Wangji's abdomen and thigh that he can reach. Also kissing. i wish they were not like this
NOW THEY'RE TALKING PLOT AND ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS NAP or maybe bang again which absolutely cannot happen.]
--For any particular reason that's more or less pressing than anyone else?
[Since they'd all woken up from that dream with the vague urge to do so, but with how Lan Wangji's talking, he assumes there's something more pressing. Then, curiously:]
Is that what you want help with?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)