[Something about that other world--the anonymity, perhaps, despite the connections they'd apparently had. Or maybe just the foreignness of modernity. Either way, he doesn't dare squeeze Wei Wuxian's hand here, like he might have done just a couple of weeks ago. But he can't hide the way some of the tension leaves him once Wei Wuxian adjusts his grip. He doesn't comment, of course, just leads the way, walking that calm, purposeful pace he always has. There is no need to rush, and there is certainly no need to hide. No matter what the situation is, no matter how much has changed, Lan Wangji will place himself between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng without hesitation. Every single time.
He presses down the urge to scoff, or to call Jiang Cheng's pointless threats. He's been threatening people's legs for years, and so far no one's lost any, okay. And if he doesn't know about the burning of Lotus Pier, then his attitude towards Wen Ning can only be attributed to jealousy, which--okay, Lan Wangji gets it, but still. CHILL OUT, JIANG-CHAN.]
Hm.
[Just, "hm". It's not like Wei Wuxian is wrong, but again, nothing Lan Wangji has to say about his so-called brother will make him feel any better, so he's doing the adult thing and keeping his mouth shut about his opinions.
He's quiet long enough to get his words under control, and by the time he opens his mouth again, it's on a very soft sigh.]
He will likely notice, if you avoid him. [Not saying Wei Wuxian shouldn't try, if he wants to. Lan Wangji will help him, regardless of what choice he makes. But it's still worth pointing out.]
[He's right about that since Wei Wuxian is cursed with the misfortune of still loving his little brother despite how terribly everything had gone, has gone and will probably continue going. It's fine! Haha.
But hoo boy, he really doesn't know how to handle this situation. He's not ready to deal with it and it'll take him a long time to untangle himself enough to even try to come up with a plan. For now, he just sighs right back - the kind that speaks to his age and how much he's been through, rare as they are.]
I know. [Of course he knows. Jiang Cheng makes a show of avoiding him, but Wei Wuxian knows him better than that. Even if it's been a long time since he's seen this Jiang Cheng, he still knows him. A few seconds pass as he wrangles the words gathering at the back of his mouth, frowning.]
...Avoiding him will only upset him more, but how could I face him like this, Lan Zhan? How could I look him in the eyes and pretend everything is alright? Any time he talks about Madam Yu or Uncle Jiang or shijie, I'd be lying just by staying silent.
[His guilt would no doubt eat him alive, as if it doesn't already.]
[There is no easy solution to this. But even knowing that, even knowing that all three of them are aware of it, doesn't make it easier to accept. He is not the sort of man to offer reassurances or promises if he is not certain they are truthful. And even if it's true, saying that he will simply try to the best of his ability to protect Wei Wuxian from his own brother seems... unhelpful at best.]
Even if you told him, he likely would not be able to believe you. [Of course Lan Wangji isn't going to encourage dishonesty, not that he'd ever really expected Wei Wuxian to suggest it. Not about something like this. But still, he thinks of the expression on Jiang Cheng's face, when he'd said the name "Jin Rulan"--and he cannot see any good in exposing Wei Wuxian to more of that than he's already suffered. Not when he highly doubts they can do anything about it, right now.
And if he's feeling helpless, he can only imagine how bad it must be for Wei Wuxian. His grip tightens just a little as he guides him towards the medical supplies--they can surely use a crate of ice packs.]
...I can stay with you.
[He says it before he thinks it fully through, but even when his mind catches up, he doesn't try to take it back. Wei Wuxian probably won't accept, but... if it's the most he can do at the moment (because Wei Wuxian is suffering, which means he will not stop searching for a way to ease it), then it is what he will offer. A chance to escape at any time, a wall to hide behind--whatever he needs, Lan Wangji is prepared to become it.]
[Over to the medical supplies they GOOO... He really could use an ice pack (or twenty if given enough time, probably), but one for the slight swelling of his cheek would be a good place to start.
He huffs out an almost tired-sounding laugh in response first. No, Jiang Cheng would never believe him. "Would not be able to" is a good way of putting it - even the small bits and pieces Wei Wuxian suggested had been met with nothing but vehement denial. Jiang Cheng gets an idea into his head and it just sticks, and Wei Wuxian of all people certainly wouldn't be able to budge it.]
No, he wouldn't. [And so he's at a loss, trapped between what feel like impossible scenarios.
Before he can even contemplate it further, he feels Lan Wangji's grip tighten and glances downward. The words that follow are-- surprising. They soften his heart and pierce straight through it, leaving him giving Lan Wangji a look that's helpless and fond and just a little remorseful.]
—Hah, look at me. I'm always giving you so much trouble. [Always running off, stumbling into danger, finding himself in situations that make Lan Wangji feel as though he has to step in. He swings their hands a little and tries to buoy himself.] You already stay with me, don't you? What more could I ask of you? Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan - just let me keep what I have of your time.
[It'd be unkind to be selfish and ask for more, even if he offers. His problems and struggles are his own to deal with, after all.
(He may have learned important life lessons from his death, but Wei Wuxian will always be Wei Wuxian at his core).]
[He pauses, then, considering. Wei Wuxian probably won't believe that, will he? Not to mention, it's not exactly the truth.]
I do not mind. [An amendment, but an important one. He stops walking, turning to face Wei Wuxian, watching him until their gazes meet.] If it is Wei Ying, I do not mind.
[He never will. But saying that would be treading a little too closely to the true depths of his feelings, and bringing that up now would feel disgustingly manipulative, even if he isn't trying to be. He doesn't mention that his time already belongs to Wei Wuxian--that there is not a single moment during the day that could not be improved with the warmth of his presence or the brightness of his smile, and he is always, consciously or not, longing for it--for the same reason.
Lan Wangji has his doubts that Wei Wuxian would believe such claims anyway, even if he did care to hear them. Better all around to keep them close to his chest, and prove his dedication through his actions. He has already committed to doing exactly that.
...Not that it makes him any more capable of helping with their Jiang Cheng problem, though. He searches Wei Wuxian's face for a moment, careful.]
Tell me, if he upsets you again.
[Not in the sense of "his very presence makes this extremely uncomfortable", but he trusts Wei Wuxian to know what he means.]
[He does know what Lan Wangji means, and he also knows that Lan Wangji understands he's asking for a lot. He prefers to deal with most things on his own, but matters with Jiang Cheng feel especially personal. Maybe it's a form of penance (or self-flagellation) to handle anything that comes up head-on, refusing to drag anyone else in.
But he still smiles anyway, because the sentiment is soft and kind, and it does help a little. To know the option is there. To know that if things become unbearable, if the weight is ever too much, there's another set of hands willing to catch and hold and help him, support him through the hardships he stubbornly wishes to keep to himself.
For a brief beat of a moment, he brings his other hand up so he's holding Lan Wangji's between both of his. He meets that gaze unflinchingly, feeling a little more solid on his feet.]
If I need to tell anyone, you'll be the one I come to, Lan Zhan.
[An addendum, since he can't truthfully say "alright" and mean it - they both know that. He's sure he'll be upset again and he's just as sure that it's a toss-up whether or not he'll seek anyone out. But this much, he can promise.
And then he's turning, dropping one hand, guiding Lan Wangji the rest of the way to the medical supplies. Thank god he knows what some of them look like now thanks to first aid kits in the Olympics...]
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no subject
He presses down the urge to scoff, or to call Jiang Cheng's pointless threats. He's been threatening people's legs for years, and so far no one's lost any, okay. And if he doesn't know about the burning of Lotus Pier, then his attitude towards Wen Ning can only be attributed to jealousy, which--okay, Lan Wangji gets it, but still. CHILL OUT, JIANG-CHAN.]
Hm.
[Just, "hm". It's not like Wei Wuxian is wrong, but again, nothing Lan Wangji has to say about his so-called brother will make him feel any better, so he's doing the adult thing and keeping his mouth shut about his opinions.
He's quiet long enough to get his words under control, and by the time he opens his mouth again, it's on a very soft sigh.]
He will likely notice, if you avoid him. [Not saying Wei Wuxian shouldn't try, if he wants to. Lan Wangji will help him, regardless of what choice he makes. But it's still worth pointing out.]
no subject
But hoo boy, he really doesn't know how to handle this situation. He's not ready to deal with it and it'll take him a long time to untangle himself enough to even try to come up with a plan. For now, he just sighs right back - the kind that speaks to his age and how much he's been through, rare as they are.]
I know. [Of course he knows. Jiang Cheng makes a show of avoiding him, but Wei Wuxian knows him better than that. Even if it's been a long time since he's seen this Jiang Cheng, he still knows him. A few seconds pass as he wrangles the words gathering at the back of his mouth, frowning.]
...Avoiding him will only upset him more, but how could I face him like this, Lan Zhan? How could I look him in the eyes and pretend everything is alright? Any time he talks about Madam Yu or Uncle Jiang or shijie, I'd be lying just by staying silent.
[His guilt would no doubt eat him alive, as if it doesn't already.]
no subject
Even if you told him, he likely would not be able to believe you. [Of course Lan Wangji isn't going to encourage dishonesty, not that he'd ever really expected Wei Wuxian to suggest it. Not about something like this. But still, he thinks of the expression on Jiang Cheng's face, when he'd said the name "Jin Rulan"--and he cannot see any good in exposing Wei Wuxian to more of that than he's already suffered. Not when he highly doubts they can do anything about it, right now.
And if he's feeling helpless, he can only imagine how bad it must be for Wei Wuxian. His grip tightens just a little as he guides him towards the medical supplies--they can surely use a crate of ice packs.]
...I can stay with you.
[He says it before he thinks it fully through, but even when his mind catches up, he doesn't try to take it back. Wei Wuxian probably won't accept, but... if it's the most he can do at the moment (because Wei Wuxian is suffering, which means he will not stop searching for a way to ease it), then it is what he will offer. A chance to escape at any time, a wall to hide behind--whatever he needs, Lan Wangji is prepared to become it.]
no subject
He huffs out an almost tired-sounding laugh in response first. No, Jiang Cheng would never believe him. "Would not be able to" is a good way of putting it - even the small bits and pieces Wei Wuxian suggested had been met with nothing but vehement denial. Jiang Cheng gets an idea into his head and it just sticks, and Wei Wuxian of all people certainly wouldn't be able to budge it.]
No, he wouldn't. [And so he's at a loss, trapped between what feel like impossible scenarios.
Before he can even contemplate it further, he feels Lan Wangji's grip tighten and glances downward. The words that follow are-- surprising. They soften his heart and pierce straight through it, leaving him giving Lan Wangji a look that's helpless and fond and just a little remorseful.]
—Hah, look at me. I'm always giving you so much trouble. [Always running off, stumbling into danger, finding himself in situations that make Lan Wangji feel as though he has to step in. He swings their hands a little and tries to buoy himself.] You already stay with me, don't you? What more could I ask of you? Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan - just let me keep what I have of your time.
[It'd be unkind to be selfish and ask for more, even if he offers. His problems and struggles are his own to deal with, after all.
(He may have learned important life lessons from his death, but Wei Wuxian will always be Wei Wuxian at his core).]
no subject
[He pauses, then, considering. Wei Wuxian probably won't believe that, will he? Not to mention, it's not exactly the truth.]
I do not mind. [An amendment, but an important one. He stops walking, turning to face Wei Wuxian, watching him until their gazes meet.] If it is Wei Ying, I do not mind.
[He never will. But saying that would be treading a little too closely to the true depths of his feelings, and bringing that up now would feel disgustingly manipulative, even if he isn't trying to be. He doesn't mention that his time already belongs to Wei Wuxian--that there is not a single moment during the day that could not be improved with the warmth of his presence or the brightness of his smile, and he is always, consciously or not, longing for it--for the same reason.
Lan Wangji has his doubts that Wei Wuxian would believe such claims anyway, even if he did care to hear them. Better all around to keep them close to his chest, and prove his dedication through his actions. He has already committed to doing exactly that.
...Not that it makes him any more capable of helping with their Jiang Cheng problem, though. He searches Wei Wuxian's face for a moment, careful.]
Tell me, if he upsets you again.
[Not in the sense of "his very presence makes this extremely uncomfortable", but he trusts Wei Wuxian to know what he means.]
no subject
But he still smiles anyway, because the sentiment is soft and kind, and it does help a little. To know the option is there. To know that if things become unbearable, if the weight is ever too much, there's another set of hands willing to catch and hold and help him, support him through the hardships he stubbornly wishes to keep to himself.
For a brief beat of a moment, he brings his other hand up so he's holding Lan Wangji's between both of his. He meets that gaze unflinchingly, feeling a little more solid on his feet.]
If I need to tell anyone, you'll be the one I come to, Lan Zhan.
[An addendum, since he can't truthfully say "alright" and mean it - they both know that. He's sure he'll be upset again and he's just as sure that it's a toss-up whether or not he'll seek anyone out. But this much, he can promise.
And then he's turning, dropping one hand, guiding Lan Wangji the rest of the way to the medical supplies. Thank god he knows what some of them look like now thanks to first aid kits in the Olympics...]