Wow though you turn a guy's healing powers down ONE TIME. Being honest about it is easier in this situation, in any case. ...Well, to a degree. He'll always be the sort of person to begrudge anyone even a glimpse at his weaknesses, but it certainly has an entirely different cast when it's not a result of his own actions, when it's not a life-or-death us-or-them scenario. Everyone is missing something, here. Every single person among them had at least one important thing snatched away.
Things are different in other ways now, too. Lan Wangji is no longer the enemy always opposite him. If there is anyone in any world he would trust with this, it would be the man before him, who has stood by his side when everyone else refused to. His hand raises briefly, hovers in the air for a second, and drops back to his side.]
—Seems my core is gone.
[He says so simply, like it's a missing sword or pair of favored shoes. Well, he has always had an uncanny ability to adapt and roll with the punches...
Though he hooks Lan Wangji with a look that's a bit hard to read after that. Being honest with him from the start isn't entirely correct. After a second, with a little sigh:]
I should have said something sooner.
[Because of course that's something any of them would notice from the start. There's a note of apology in his tone, though he leaves the "I'm sorry"s off for now.]
[Predictably, his eyes widen, a combination of shock and alarm passing over his face. His hands rise on reflex, like he wants to reach out, to verify it for himself--but then, Wei Wuxian wouldn't lie to him. Not... not like this. If he was going to lie, it would be--
--And there it is. He'd known, in part, that something wasn't quite right; he and Haku had confirmed that everyone else was missing something, but he'd thought that, maybe, Wei Wuxian simply hadn't figured out what it was. It wasn't an unreasonable assumption.
But this...
...Well. It wouldn't be fair of him to be hurt, would it, considering he hasn't been totally honest either. And it's not like he doesn't understand why Wei Wuxian wouldn't want to be open about this, even though Lan Wangji would hope he's proven that he has no intention of standing anywhere but at his side.
At first, he's quiet, his expression unreadable as he stares at Wei Wuxian. But slowly, he extends his hand--only to reach for Wei Wuxian's fingers, gently taking them in his own. It's a little awkward, since he still isn't quite used to initiating physical contact on his own, but his grip is firm.]
You did what you thought was right. [His voice is soft, but there's no anger in it. It's not a happy tone, exactly; it couldn't be, not when Wei Wuxian is missing something so vital to himself, again. But it's trust, nonetheless. And if he's being gifted with this level of vulnerability, knowing how uncomfortable Wei Wuxian has got to be, it would only be right to repay him in kind.] There is something I have not told you, as well.
[Something flits across his face as Lan Wangji reaches for his hand, bridges that gap between them. He tenses a little at first, but relaxes into the firmness of his grip after a beat. It is a source of comfort; a solid reminder of what he has this time around. Another beat, and he lets his fingers curl around Lan Wangji's.]
Still, it would have been stupid if I got myself into a sticky situation just because I didn't want to say anything sooner, you know? I'm surprised that didn't happen!
[He's now cursed himself and he absolutely will get into a sticky situation because of his corelessness but at least Lan Wangji will have a heads up!
Anyway, that's sure not something you want to hear anyone say after dropping the information he just dropped. His head cants a little to the side and he laughs, though it's edged with the same slight offness that his laughs usually are when they aren't fully natural but he wants to keep things light.]
What, are you going to tell me that we match after all? Aiyo, Lan Zhan, you can't just start a sentence like that and leave it there. What is it?
[Tension he hadn't noticed building seems to drain out of him, when Wei Wuxian doesn't pull out of his grasp. It strengthens him enough that he steps a little closer, pressing their palms together; and for once, he isn't distracted by the warmth of Wei Wuxian's hand in his.
He doesn't let himself be derailed by Wei Wuxian's words, either, not that he ever really does. But there's no need to think about what could've happened, beyond simply being grateful that it didn't. He knows now, and he can show Wei Wuxian that he doesn't need to deal with this alone. He's always favored actions over words anyway.
So he does what he does best, and speaks, calm and straightforward.]
[Without anything to distract him, Wei Wuxian's reaction is both contained and visceral; there's a little hiss of air and his hand jerks in Lan Wangji's as if to pull away, as if he's touched fire. Panic and a stream of frantic why? when? how?s zip through his veins like an electric shock, leaving him briefly breathless.
It's— certainly not what he'd been expecting to hear. How could he? Surely Lan Wangji hadn't known back when it had been an immediate issue; he can't imagine such a meddlesome person holding his tongue or not trying to do something about it. If that's not the case, only two people in the world knew his secret outside of himself, and for thirteen years only one had the ability to say anything about it. He wouldn't have, would he? It seems unlikely, unless extreme circumstances called for it. But what could be extreme enough to--
He jolts again, realizing he's the one who's been quiet for too long now. Moreover, there isn't really any need to ponder on what whats and hows, is there? Lan Wangji is right here, and while it stings a little to learn that he'd known and hadn't said anything - well. Who's the one keeping secrets in the first place?
It takes another second or two, but he lets his palm settle against Lan Wangji's eventually, coming to nestle neatly against the warmth of it. As his tongue darts out to nervously wet his lips, it gives him a little extra strength.]
—Something happened, didn't it? For him to tell you... [It sounds like a statement, but there's still a gentle questioning lilt in it.] How long have you known?
[It takes effort on his own part, but Lan Wangji does not tighten his grip, or try to stop him from pulling away. He told himself early on that he would never try to trap Wei Wuxian, and that includes clinging to him, even when he wants to. It's still a relief when Wei Wuxian relaxes against him, and only then does he allow his grip to tighten.
He wants, more than anything, to pull Wei Wuxian against him, to fold him up into an embrace of warmth and promise until he trusts it. But that's not for him to have, so he'll make do with what he's got.]
I always suspected something was wrong. But I did not know what it was until we left Lotus Pier for Yunping City. [Wei Wuxian is right; he wouldn't have hesitated to speak up, if he'd known exactly what was wrong back when it truly mattered.]
Sect Leader Jiang... did not want to let us leave the Ancestral Hall. He continued to attack us when we tried, even after you collapsed. [He did say they'd fought, after all. He just... left out the details. He still has no desire to repeat Jiang Cheng's exact words.]
Wen Qionglin could not abide his behavior. So he told him the truth about his core. [A pause. Lan Wangji's own feelings towards Wen Ning are complicated at best, but--even though he's not here, he doesn't deserve to be scolded for his choice. Lan Wangji likely would've done far worse, in his place.] He told me on the boat that you'd warned him not to speak of it. He asked me not to tell you when you woke up, and I did not.
[But... things are different now. Wen Ning would understand why he's broken his promise, he's sure.]
[His grip tightens for just a second in return, in time with the deep and steadying breath he has to take to keep himself centered. Goddamn do the people around him cause him grievous trouble - but he supposes it's only fair, considering the heaps of trouble he brings them in turn.
There's a second where he wants to ask for more information about exactly what happened (will happen) in the Ancestral Hall, next. He wants to know who said what, why he had collapsed then of all times, what Jiang Cheng had done besides trying to keep them from leaving because he knows that alone wouldn't have prompted Wen Ning to give away his biggest secret. He wants to know, but at the same time, he doesn't - not now, at least. He keeps the questions tucked beneath his tongue for a later time, eventually shaking his head as if to shake the thoughts away.
He takes another breath, closes his eyes for a second, and wrangles his stray thoughts and the threads of fear and discontent and irritation that wind through him. He can't really blame Jiang Cheng's temperament and sharp tongue or Wen Ning's fierce protectiveness, nor does he want to.
When he opens his eyes again, it's with a dry huff of a laugh.]
So he knows, too. [Hah. It was well-kept secret for a long, long time. Does he have any right to be upset that it was eventually discovered?] That Jiang Cheng... He'd be willing to disgrace his own ancestors if he was angry enough, if it meant he could get the last word in. I've said it - he's always been that way. Wen Ning is nothing if not a well of patience, so I'm sure whatever happened was vicious - vicious on both ends.
[Wen Ning had become such a powerful fierce corpse because of the ferocity of his suppressed emotion, after all. Wei Wuxian is under no pretense that Wen Ning is soft all the way through. He speaks of both with a strained sort of fondness, and a lot of exhaustion.]
For it to come to light in such a way, though... [A sigh; he passes his free hand over his face, shakes his head again.] --Well. Nothing to be done about it now, hm?
[Wei Wuxian's pain has always been his pain. It took him a while, to realize that, and Wei Wuxian will probably never understand, will probably actively rebel against a thought like that for as long as they remain in each other's company. But it doesn't make it any less true, and his free hand jerks at his side, an aborted attempt at reaching out for him.
It's fortunate, almost, that Wei Wuxian's eyes are closed. If he were to see that, to ask for an explanation, Lan Wangji doubts he'd have the strength of will to tell a silent lie.
He can't bring himself to turn his gaze away, though, even when Wei Wuxian opens his eyes again. He stares, and stares, as if every ounce of love, support, and devotion in his heart could be conveyed through a single look alone. It's dangerous, to be so open, but right now, Lan Wangji thinks it's worth the risk. If Wei Wuxian looks at him, if he's reminded of an unwelcome truth because Lan Wangji can't force his own feelings to weaken... then so be it. If he asks for space and peace, so be it. But now, of all times, he needs to be reminded that there is always, always someone willing to stand at his side, unconditionally.
Wei Wuxian's tone breaks something deep in his heart, and Lan Wangji takes a slow breath, trying to calm his own thoughts. Insulting Jiang Cheng now would do no good, even if he deserves it.]
Do not mention him. [It's the same thing he said on the boat, but-- he can't help himself. He hates the way Wei Wuxian loses some of his exuberance, his light, whenever the topic of his brother arises. He's not even the real issue here anyway. They can do nothing about the past, but right here, and now, is a different matter.]
Wei Ying. [Gently, he squeezes Wei Wuxian's hand, as if to coax him back to the present.] I am here.
[It works, at least - helps to drag him back from the riptide of his own thoughts and anchor him in the here and now. Almost reflexively, he squeezes Lan Wangji's hand right back, as if to answer that reassurance with some of his own. An I'm here, too.
His smile has something brittle in it, but he manages one. Not that it's much of a feat, considering the things he's smiled and laughed in the face of before. Still, this one has a genuine warmth to it. There's an unspoken gratitude there, and if he catches the force of emotion in Lan Wangji's eyes, he does a good job of keeping himself from being blown away by it. Maybe it's a bit to do with the fact that even now, he's not entirely sure what he's looking at, what pieces into that intensity. For someone so smart, he really can be an idiot...]
Hah, alright, alright. [He knows Lan Wangji ain't fond of his brother, and it's not like he particularly enjoys talking about him too much either, in most cases. It's fine. It'll only become an issue if Jiang Cheng himself ever shows up in one of these worlds or in the void they left behind. For now, it's a problem for the Wei Wuxian of the future, back in their own world.
(Not that it'll stop him from turning the information over in his mind, of course, but they both know that without him saying so or giving false reassurance to the contrary.)
His expression seems to soften even further after, and he laughs.]
Ah, Lan Zhan, that you are! What a rare stroke of fortune for me.
[That first smile almost hurts worse than anything else thus far. Don't do that with me, he wants to beg, but he thinks better of it at the last minute. Better to let it come and pass, right now. It's not the time for his selfishness.
Despite that, he can't stop his own expression from softening too, in response to Wei Wuxian's laughter. He takes a step closer, waiting until he can catch Wei Wuxian's gaze again, properly.]
I am here. [His voice is a little firmer, when he repeats it. He needs, suddenly, to be sure that Wei Wuxian understands what he's trying to say.
He isn't going anywhere. He hopes, despite what logic tells him, that they find a way to get Wei Wuxian's core back, but only because he knows it would make him happier. He worked hard, cultivating that first core of his, and Lan Wangji had wasted many nights during those long years without him wondering how different things might've been, had he chosen to continue traveling that wide, bright road. Losing it does not make him lesser, but Lan Wangji is under no delusions that he can imagine how Wei Wuxian must feel without it, especially when it was unintentional.
Hm. He's feeling particularly uncharitable towards their pillar friend right now. He'll have to examine that later. For now, though, the important thing is Wei Wuxian.]
Make your choices freely. Do what you must. [Lan Wangji would never presume to try and control Wei Wuxian, or hinder him in any way. It's imperative that Wei Wuxian understands that.] I will be here.
[In part, it's his promise to keep Jiang Cheng's name off his tongue that keeps him from voicing his sentiments aloud. How strange, to know you'll always be by my side when I had expected that of Jiang Cheng. When I had expected we'd only meet on opposite sides of battle. How strange, indeed.
He does seem to understand, though. He understands the core of Lan Wangji's message, the heart of what he's trying to get across. It works - he doesn't feel tethered or stifled or trapped. He feels comforted and freed of a burden, however slight it may be. He feels as though the hole at the center of his being isn't quite as vast as it had been that first time, even if he's still uncomfortable with the absence of such an important thing. He mentally chews on the thank you that rests in his mouth, but eventually swallows it back, giving Lan Wangji's hand another squeeze.]
—Haha, you're too good to me. [Really, he is. Wei Wuxian is the one out here lying and getting into stupid brawls and diving out windows and causing all kinds of trouble and yet he's still the one who needs (and gets) reassurance. Goodness...]
I know you will be. I do know it, Lan Zhan. You've been with me since I came back, after all. You even came with me all the way here! But I'll try not to give you any other reasons to fret, alright?
[He'll try to be less furtive and more forthcoming, in other words - at least to a degree. No promises on being less of a danger magnet.]
[You deserve it, he wants, desperately, to say. More people should be good to you. You are too good for all of us. He gives voice to none of it, of course, but he stares a little longer, mostly just to reassure himself that, despite everything, Wei Wuxian is still here beside him. Safe, more or less, even if he's not necessarily happy.
It's not perfect, and it won't be until they fix this, but it's a start, if nothing else. Wei Wuxian's words seem to satisfy him, for now; he brushes his thumb over Wei Wuxian's knuckles one last time before he lets go of his hand completely, stepping to the side.
And in a motion that's practiced by now, he leans down, scooping Wei Wuxian up to carry him off.]
[There's a little startled, breathless laugh - reflexive, since he sure hadn't been expecting to be scooped up. In the next second, he throws his arms around Lan Wangji's neck. It's almost as practiced; a familiar sort of move that he can take comfort in. It's easier like this, to pretend that all of the things making him unhappy just aren't a concern.
And you know? Even if he has a few points to be unhappy about, it's not like he is. Not on a whole. He finds things to smile about every day; what more could he ask for?]
You won't just let me put on my rollerblades again? They really are much faster than walking, you know.
[He says this but his spoiled ass makes absolutely no move to budge... Not for rollerblades or shoes. So sue him if he indulges in getting carried after being upset!!]
[This is so, so dangerous, and he really, really should stop indulging. But even as he thinks it, he knows he won't. Not so long as Wei Wuxian lets him get away with it, before he inevitably wallops him with another reminder that none of this means anything to him. He should know better, but... well. He's never openly claimed to be strong.]
No.
[SUCCINCTLY because Wei Wuxian damn well knows why that's his answer. The fact that Lan Wangji has to carry him with extreme care should be answer enough?? Actually, forget shoes, maybe he should cart him off to Shinobu again...]
[DO NOT CART HIM OFF TO SHINOBU AGAIN HE JUST PROMISED NOT EVEN A FEW HOURS AGO THAT HE'D TAKE CARE. Diving out of windows trying to prevent terrorists from going splat probably counts as the opposite of that??]
If you keep this up, you really are going to spoil me, you know? I'll expect to be carried by Hanguang-jun personally any time I'm injured.
[Said with the certainty of an idiot who knows there will be Ample opportunities in the future to be carried because his dumb ass got himself injured... IT'S FINE. For now he just settles comfortably in Lan Wangji's arms. The only indication he's even injured is the fact that he moves his own arms a little more gingerly than usual. Ah, high pain tolerance.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
They Will Not
Wow though you turn a guy's healing powers down ONE TIME. Being honest about it is easier in this situation, in any case. ...Well, to a degree. He'll always be the sort of person to begrudge anyone even a glimpse at his weaknesses, but it certainly has an entirely different cast when it's not a result of his own actions, when it's not a life-or-death us-or-them scenario. Everyone is missing something, here. Every single person among them had at least one important thing snatched away.
Things are different in other ways now, too. Lan Wangji is no longer the enemy always opposite him. If there is anyone in any world he would trust with this, it would be the man before him, who has stood by his side when everyone else refused to. His hand raises briefly, hovers in the air for a second, and drops back to his side.]
—Seems my core is gone.
[He says so simply, like it's a missing sword or pair of favored shoes. Well, he has always had an uncanny ability to adapt and roll with the punches...
Though he hooks Lan Wangji with a look that's a bit hard to read after that. Being honest with him from the start isn't entirely correct. After a second, with a little sigh:]
I should have said something sooner.
[Because of course that's something any of them would notice from the start. There's a note of apology in his tone, though he leaves the "I'm sorry"s off for now.]
MAYBE SOMEDAY...!!
--And there it is. He'd known, in part, that something wasn't quite right; he and Haku had confirmed that everyone else was missing something, but he'd thought that, maybe, Wei Wuxian simply hadn't figured out what it was. It wasn't an unreasonable assumption.
But this...
...Well. It wouldn't be fair of him to be hurt, would it, considering he hasn't been totally honest either. And it's not like he doesn't understand why Wei Wuxian wouldn't want to be open about this, even though Lan Wangji would hope he's proven that he has no intention of standing anywhere but at his side.
At first, he's quiet, his expression unreadable as he stares at Wei Wuxian. But slowly, he extends his hand--only to reach for Wei Wuxian's fingers, gently taking them in his own. It's a little awkward, since he still isn't quite used to initiating physical contact on his own, but his grip is firm.]
You did what you thought was right. [His voice is soft, but there's no anger in it. It's not a happy tone, exactly; it couldn't be, not when Wei Wuxian is missing something so vital to himself, again. But it's trust, nonetheless. And if he's being gifted with this level of vulnerability, knowing how uncomfortable Wei Wuxian has got to be, it would only be right to repay him in kind.] There is something I have not told you, as well.
UNLIKELY
Still, it would have been stupid if I got myself into a sticky situation just because I didn't want to say anything sooner, you know? I'm surprised that didn't happen!
[He's now cursed himself and he absolutely will get into a sticky situation because of his corelessness but at least Lan Wangji will have a heads up!
Anyway, that's sure not something you want to hear anyone say after dropping the information he just dropped. His head cants a little to the side and he laughs, though it's edged with the same slight offness that his laughs usually are when they aren't fully natural but he wants to keep things light.]
What, are you going to tell me that we match after all? Aiyo, Lan Zhan, you can't just start a sentence like that and leave it there. What is it?
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He doesn't let himself be derailed by Wei Wuxian's words, either, not that he ever really does. But there's no need to think about what could've happened, beyond simply being grateful that it didn't. He knows now, and he can show Wei Wuxian that he doesn't need to deal with this alone. He's always favored actions over words anyway.
So he does what he does best, and speaks, calm and straightforward.]
I know you lost your core, in the past.
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It's— certainly not what he'd been expecting to hear. How could he? Surely Lan Wangji hadn't known back when it had been an immediate issue; he can't imagine such a meddlesome person holding his tongue or not trying to do something about it. If that's not the case, only two people in the world knew his secret outside of himself, and for thirteen years only one had the ability to say anything about it. He wouldn't have, would he? It seems unlikely, unless extreme circumstances called for it. But what could be extreme enough to--
He jolts again, realizing he's the one who's been quiet for too long now. Moreover, there isn't really any need to ponder on what whats and hows, is there? Lan Wangji is right here, and while it stings a little to learn that he'd known and hadn't said anything - well. Who's the one keeping secrets in the first place?
It takes another second or two, but he lets his palm settle against Lan Wangji's eventually, coming to nestle neatly against the warmth of it. As his tongue darts out to nervously wet his lips, it gives him a little extra strength.]
—Something happened, didn't it? For him to tell you... [It sounds like a statement, but there's still a gentle questioning lilt in it.] How long have you known?
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He wants, more than anything, to pull Wei Wuxian against him, to fold him up into an embrace of warmth and promise until he trusts it. But that's not for him to have, so he'll make do with what he's got.]
I always suspected something was wrong. But I did not know what it was until we left Lotus Pier for Yunping City. [Wei Wuxian is right; he wouldn't have hesitated to speak up, if he'd known exactly what was wrong back when it truly mattered.]
Sect Leader Jiang... did not want to let us leave the Ancestral Hall. He continued to attack us when we tried, even after you collapsed. [He did say they'd fought, after all. He just... left out the details. He still has no desire to repeat Jiang Cheng's exact words.]
Wen Qionglin could not abide his behavior. So he told him the truth about his core. [A pause. Lan Wangji's own feelings towards Wen Ning are complicated at best, but--even though he's not here, he doesn't deserve to be scolded for his choice. Lan Wangji likely would've done far worse, in his place.] He told me on the boat that you'd warned him not to speak of it. He asked me not to tell you when you woke up, and I did not.
[But... things are different now. Wen Ning would understand why he's broken his promise, he's sure.]
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There's a second where he wants to ask for more information about exactly what happened (will happen) in the Ancestral Hall, next. He wants to know who said what, why he had collapsed then of all times, what Jiang Cheng had done besides trying to keep them from leaving because he knows that alone wouldn't have prompted Wen Ning to give away his biggest secret. He wants to know, but at the same time, he doesn't - not now, at least. He keeps the questions tucked beneath his tongue for a later time, eventually shaking his head as if to shake the thoughts away.
He takes another breath, closes his eyes for a second, and wrangles his stray thoughts and the threads of fear and discontent and irritation that wind through him. He can't really blame Jiang Cheng's temperament and sharp tongue or Wen Ning's fierce protectiveness, nor does he want to.
When he opens his eyes again, it's with a dry huff of a laugh.]
So he knows, too. [Hah. It was well-kept secret for a long, long time. Does he have any right to be upset that it was eventually discovered?] That Jiang Cheng... He'd be willing to disgrace his own ancestors if he was angry enough, if it meant he could get the last word in. I've said it - he's always been that way. Wen Ning is nothing if not a well of patience, so I'm sure whatever happened was vicious - vicious on both ends.
[Wen Ning had become such a powerful fierce corpse because of the ferocity of his suppressed emotion, after all. Wei Wuxian is under no pretense that Wen Ning is soft all the way through. He speaks of both with a strained sort of fondness, and a lot of exhaustion.]
For it to come to light in such a way, though... [A sigh; he passes his free hand over his face, shakes his head again.] --Well. Nothing to be done about it now, hm?
no subject
It's fortunate, almost, that Wei Wuxian's eyes are closed. If he were to see that, to ask for an explanation, Lan Wangji doubts he'd have the strength of will to tell a silent lie.
He can't bring himself to turn his gaze away, though, even when Wei Wuxian opens his eyes again. He stares, and stares, as if every ounce of love, support, and devotion in his heart could be conveyed through a single look alone. It's dangerous, to be so open, but right now, Lan Wangji thinks it's worth the risk. If Wei Wuxian looks at him, if he's reminded of an unwelcome truth because Lan Wangji can't force his own feelings to weaken... then so be it. If he asks for space and peace, so be it. But now, of all times, he needs to be reminded that there is always, always someone willing to stand at his side, unconditionally.
Wei Wuxian's tone breaks something deep in his heart, and Lan Wangji takes a slow breath, trying to calm his own thoughts. Insulting Jiang Cheng now would do no good, even if he deserves it.]
Do not mention him. [It's the same thing he said on the boat, but-- he can't help himself. He hates the way Wei Wuxian loses some of his exuberance, his light, whenever the topic of his brother arises. He's not even the real issue here anyway. They can do nothing about the past, but right here, and now, is a different matter.]
Wei Ying. [Gently, he squeezes Wei Wuxian's hand, as if to coax him back to the present.] I am here.
[You don't have to deal with this alone.]
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His smile has something brittle in it, but he manages one. Not that it's much of a feat, considering the things he's smiled and laughed in the face of before. Still, this one has a genuine warmth to it. There's an unspoken gratitude there, and if he catches the force of emotion in Lan Wangji's eyes, he does a good job of keeping himself from being blown away by it. Maybe it's a bit to do with the fact that even now, he's not entirely sure what he's looking at, what pieces into that intensity. For someone so smart, he really can be an idiot...]
Hah, alright, alright. [He knows Lan Wangji ain't fond of his brother, and it's not like he particularly enjoys talking about him too much either, in most cases. It's fine. It'll only become an issue if Jiang Cheng himself ever shows up in one of these worlds or in the void they left behind. For now, it's a problem for the Wei Wuxian of the future, back in their own world.
(Not that it'll stop him from turning the information over in his mind, of course, but they both know that without him saying so or giving false reassurance to the contrary.)
His expression seems to soften even further after, and he laughs.]
Ah, Lan Zhan, that you are! What a rare stroke of fortune for me.
no subject
Despite that, he can't stop his own expression from softening too, in response to Wei Wuxian's laughter. He takes a step closer, waiting until he can catch Wei Wuxian's gaze again, properly.]
I am here. [His voice is a little firmer, when he repeats it. He needs, suddenly, to be sure that Wei Wuxian understands what he's trying to say.
He isn't going anywhere. He hopes, despite what logic tells him, that they find a way to get Wei Wuxian's core back, but only because he knows it would make him happier. He worked hard, cultivating that first core of his, and Lan Wangji had wasted many nights during those long years without him wondering how different things might've been, had he chosen to continue traveling that wide, bright road. Losing it does not make him lesser, but Lan Wangji is under no delusions that he can imagine how Wei Wuxian must feel without it, especially when it was unintentional.
Hm. He's feeling particularly uncharitable towards their pillar friend right now. He'll have to examine that later. For now, though, the important thing is Wei Wuxian.]
Make your choices freely. Do what you must. [Lan Wangji would never presume to try and control Wei Wuxian, or hinder him in any way. It's imperative that Wei Wuxian understands that.] I will be here.
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He does seem to understand, though. He understands the core of Lan Wangji's message, the heart of what he's trying to get across. It works - he doesn't feel tethered or stifled or trapped. He feels comforted and freed of a burden, however slight it may be. He feels as though the hole at the center of his being isn't quite as vast as it had been that first time, even if he's still uncomfortable with the absence of such an important thing. He mentally chews on the thank you that rests in his mouth, but eventually swallows it back, giving Lan Wangji's hand another squeeze.]
—Haha, you're too good to me. [Really, he is. Wei Wuxian is the one out here lying and getting into stupid brawls and diving out windows and causing all kinds of trouble and yet he's still the one who needs (and gets) reassurance. Goodness...]
I know you will be. I do know it, Lan Zhan. You've been with me since I came back, after all. You even came with me all the way here! But I'll try not to give you any other reasons to fret, alright?
[He'll try to be less furtive and more forthcoming, in other words - at least to a degree. No promises on being less of a danger magnet.]
no subject
It's not perfect, and it won't be until they fix this, but it's a start, if nothing else. Wei Wuxian's words seem to satisfy him, for now; he brushes his thumb over Wei Wuxian's knuckles one last time before he lets go of his hand completely, stepping to the side.
And in a motion that's practiced by now, he leans down, scooping Wei Wuxian up to carry him off.]
Start by finding shoes.
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[There's a little startled, breathless laugh - reflexive, since he sure hadn't been expecting to be scooped up. In the next second, he throws his arms around Lan Wangji's neck. It's almost as practiced; a familiar sort of move that he can take comfort in. It's easier like this, to pretend that all of the things making him unhappy just aren't a concern.
And you know? Even if he has a few points to be unhappy about, it's not like he is. Not on a whole. He finds things to smile about every day; what more could he ask for?]
You won't just let me put on my rollerblades again? They really are much faster than walking, you know.
[He says this but his spoiled ass makes absolutely no move to budge... Not for rollerblades or shoes. So sue him if he indulges in getting carried after being upset!!]
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No.
[SUCCINCTLY because Wei Wuxian damn well knows why that's his answer. The fact that Lan Wangji has to carry him with extreme care should be answer enough?? Actually, forget shoes, maybe he should cart him off to Shinobu again...]
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If you keep this up, you really are going to spoil me, you know? I'll expect to be carried by Hanguang-jun personally any time I'm injured.
[Said with the certainty of an idiot who knows there will be Ample opportunities in the future to be carried because his dumb ass got himself injured... IT'S FINE. For now he just settles comfortably in Lan Wangji's arms. The only indication he's even injured is the fact that he moves his own arms a little more gingerly than usual. Ah, high pain tolerance.]